I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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