I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
