so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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