at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
