oh god the rape fog is back!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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