haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
