fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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