When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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