Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
