i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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