is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
