I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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We just shotgunned beers for America
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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