Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
