the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize