I don't think brook has ever known best
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
