nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize