the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
