at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
