If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
As shirtless as possible
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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