Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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