I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
