Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
