There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it glows. i had to have it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
