please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
