dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
