OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
