Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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