And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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