Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
