Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
