Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
