hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
