I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
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Sounds like you're already there
If that middle school is anything like mine was, you weren't alone.
At least it wasnt on your face?
well, Ms. Crabtree, before you leave, do you mind if i hit that ass one more time?
Monica! You can wash the dress now!
only if that jizz came from a middle schooler
That was so 15 years ago.
Just tell 'em you're a sloppy eater and it was ranch dressing. For future reference, swallow to avoid a jizzed on dress.
I'm sure they noticed;)