i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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