I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
