That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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