Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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