This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The best revenge is premature balding
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
