there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
