wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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