I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize