that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
