if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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