Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
