Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize