I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
