Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
