What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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