At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
