So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
