What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
