this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.