I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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