She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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