Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize