there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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