last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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