Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
