how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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