i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize