whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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