You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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