Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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